Lately, I’ve not had the inspiration, nor energy to blog much. It’s been months running that I was either overly tired, in denial about depression, sick or just flat disconnected from my life.
You see, a couple years ago I lost my longest term inner circle. I could go into the intricacies of those intertwined relationships or the issues I felt my ‘friends’ had or the admissions I had to make to myself about my role in the implosion. But suffice it to say… it took me nearly all of two years to realize I was continuing to grapple with the absence of those people from my life.
Then enter some massive sinus infections that lingered, over one hundred twenty headaches in a six-month span of time, a break-up and the near loss of my job… and folks, I was a TRAIN.WRECK with capital W.R.E.C.K.
Though I still had to function on a daily basis and really haven’t done a great job of it. As I fought to claw my way back to a person I recognized… there is my pride in my words when I say that I managed (technically, am still managing) to do so in ways that are healthier than I would have in the past.
In my younger days, I would have lubricated my social side with wine and made plans for every single night of the week and done everything in my power to numb it out and pretend all was well.
Not that I didn’t do a little of that, but I’ve also purposely made wine off-limits outside of special occasions, dropped Tinder visibility and limited new friendships to those that have a Godly component. I’ve found that when you are seeking any friend to kill some time with, you find only friends that are using you in some way too.
When I came across this post today, so much of it rang out in my heart that I wanted to share it. Great site and phenomenal post ~ I identify with nearly every single word. One thing I have never been afraid to do is dine alone, but it didn’t really occur to me how meaningful that is until I read it in this context.