It was a Sunday that I could not possibly spend the time to sit through church – wrong thinking, I know. But my mother was very ill and teetering on the edge of psychosis and I just needed to get to her. My church happens to be between my house and hers.
I knew the road ahead could be long and rough. With a full-time job, daily 2 hour commute and four-legged child at home ~ I couldn’t maintain the servitude I had signed up for in our coffee shop. Yet, I was driving right past so something told me to go in and resign my post in person.
What I didn’t expect when I walked in was to be immediately identified as being in crisis mode. Ladies that care for me quickly saw that I was not myself… AT ALL. They soon found the leader of the coffee teams and she came to talk with me.
Until that moment, I didn’t know her mom was also struggling with dementia. It became a turning point in my acceptance…. I was not alone. Frankly, I also felt a bit selfish for not knowing more about her. We both began to cry, lean on each other physically and shower kind words on each other. We really needed to pray, prayers that others will hear…. something I struggle with big-time!
Surrender to the Holy Spirit and an open profession of struggle are both big stumbling blocks for me… we’re all supposed to hold it together and be strong, right? WRONG. It couldn’t be more wrong to think that. EVERYONE, read that again, dear friend…everyone struggles.
It wasn’t just me and the leader, it became a circle of 8 ladies arm in arm in complete support of one another. The leader started to pray and couldn’t come up with the words right away, so I took over and began to just speak life, healing and strength over every woman in that circle. Eyes were closed, but hearts were open as the words began to flow. Our team leader took back over, finished the prayer specifically for me and what I saw when I opened my eyes is a vision I don’t want to forget.
Tears on the floor ~ not just a drop or three, but multiple areas where over half the group had let things flow from their heart, through tear ducts and spill onto the floor. There were tears ~ all over the floor.
Weeks after that, I was talking with her and one statement led to another and it all came back to community. If you don’t have a circle that will leave tears on the floor for you…you need more circles.